this post is not going to have any structure, no proper basis just regurgitated bullshit.
at this point in time, I wish I never knew the guy. I'd do anything just so I don't feel this way right now. just so I don't have to keep walking around with this ache in me. I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe that things could actually work out. that with things like these, I could actually get what I want.
I am so stupid. So stupid to even consider the idea. it has all just been my mind telling me what I want to hear, showing me what I want to see.
because either way, this will end badly. nothing good is going to come out of this. I'll have a shitty summer regardless of what happens.
I would trade everything in this world in order to erase him completely. I regret the very day I met him. I wish I never had.
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