Maybe I've royally fucked things up for us. Maybe this is all my fault. Maybe you can't forgive me anymore. Maybe I try too hard. Maybe I don't try enough. Maybe I've crossed a line. Maybe I didn't say the right thing. Maybe I acted too much. Maybe I was never honest. Maybe I was too truthful. Maybe you got to know me better and realized you hated who I am. Maybe you hated me all along.
I guess I'll never know.
The only thing I'm certain of is that it was I who brought this upon myself. I am the cause of your cold and distant ways. I have no one to blame but myself. I've tried to blame you. I've tried to hate you. I've tried anything just so I can feel a little better about myself but all I see are my mistakes. All my wrongdoings. All those times that I let you down.
Which is precisely why I need to let go. I can take the hint. You want nothing from me, fine. I get it. I'm sorry I was stupid enough to think otherwise. As if the ignoring wasn't a hint already. You probably have good reason to and I'm supposed to respect that, right? Like I've respected every other decision you've made. I should've known from the start that I had fucked things up between us beyond repair. Was it foolish of me to think that with time, things would get better? Was I so naive to believe that, I don't know, this would all blow over and we'd just grow from this? I guess so.
I've tried and I guess it was never enough. Or too much. Whatever. I must obviously be doing something wrong so I'll stop altogether. That's what you want, right? I will give it to you. Not because I don't care anymore but because I've realized that if you are constantly pissed off at me, there's no reason for me to stay and hold on.
p.s. you win. I hope you're happy.
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