Giving him space, that's what I'm going to do. Yes. I mean, after seeing him laughing with my friends but not me. I understand. Who the fuck am I to him anyway? If I need to try to get his attention then I don't want any of it. If I need to show him how great I am then I'd rather he just never know. At this point, I'm done giving so much thought to someone who doesn't think of me at all. I'll let him be with all my fiends whom he always pays attention to, talks to, hugs with, whatever. I don't need to be a part of it. I will just leave him with them and walk away. From now on, I'm done trying. I'm done with his interest, or lack thereof. I'm done with him.
As for my friends, I'm done trying as well. I feel like every single day, I need to put on a smile and laugh and make inappropriate jokes, but if I stop trying so hard to amuse people and they like me leas then I don't really want to be part of that anymore. This is how I am. I am incredibly jealous. I'm incredibly needy. I'm extremely unhappy and I will always need your approval every damn time, and when I don't get it, I can't handle it. Okay?! I can't handle disagreements. It's just how it is.
There are more kings I am upset about but I'm so tired and I just, I don't want to do this anymore.
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