end of the road

My mom has lived with me long enough to know that if you want to measure how sad I am, listen to what I'm listening to. There are three main songs that I put on repeat when I'm extremely down and all I want to do is cry. This Boyz II Men song, End of the Road, has been in my family for quite some time. The first time I heard it was when I was about 3 years old. My brother played it one day. I told him to shut it off cause at that point in my life, anything that wasn't Britney Spears, was considered bad music.

When I was 11, long after my brother left the house, I found his Boyz II Men tape. I found it a little bit after my first actual heartbreak. It was one of those 'I like him, he doesn't like me' kind of situations. I put it on and the tape was on End of the Road. It was that moment when I decided that this was the saddest song I knew. Since then, when things weren't going my way, Boyz II Men had my back.

My other go-to artist when I'm depressed is my beloved, Imogen Heap. I worship this woman. I've always been a weeper but one song by her called Speeding Cars just gets me every single time. When I start singing this song off-pitch, then my mom knows I'm really upset. It's like an indicator.

Lastly, the one song that has been appropriate for every heartbreak I've had is Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung. There's something about the music that just tugs at my heart strings. I can't contain it. Every part of my being is filled with an unexplained sadness and it overwhelms me each time.

With that said, I've been listening to these three songs for the last hour.