Every person I turn to, every where I seek solace, the response is always the same.
"This pain isn't worth it. He isn't worth it."

The best advice they can give me is usually along the lines of,
"that sucks... but there's nothing you can do about it so let go."

So what if he isn't worth it? What if I thought he was?

What if, against my better judgment, I thought better of him. That I believed something inside of him could not possibly do this to me. That there was no way he could have done that. No. After all our ups and downs, he couldn't have. After everything we've put each other through. No tying up loose ends? No closure? Nothing?

Nothing?

Nothing.

That's not what hurts the most, though. I guess what my friends don't seem to understand is that this feels like I've been punched in the stomach. It feels like despite everything, I wasn't even worth saying something to.

The question is not if he is worth it... but am I? Aren't I?

Wasn't I?




The sad truth: I will always be the girl you thought it not worth to have even the slightest bit of closure... while here I am, despite everything, thinking you are worth that and a lot more. You were worth it all along.